Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.”, “Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.”, “I’m not for everyone. Help end the violence. “Her only flair is in her nostrils.” —Pauline Kael, a film critic. There’s nothing like a funny quote to relax an audience and make them receptive to hearing what you have to say. 20+ Funny Homeschooling Quarantine Memes & Internet Quotes. “My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.” —Billy Connolly, actor, “I won’t go into a big spiel about reincarnation, but the first time I was in the Gucci store in Chicago was the closest I’ve ever felt to home.” —Kanye West, rap artist, “I don’t believe in reincarnation, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.” —Shane Richie, British actor. Discover (and save!) Monogamy is the same.” —Anonymous, Following an argument, an angry Lady Astor told Winston Churchill, “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Churchill snapped, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”, When Mick Jagger insisted that his wrinkles were actually laugh lines, jazz singer George Melly replied, “Surely nothing could be that funny.”, A sports columnist recalled the story of a flight attendant who asked Muhammad Ali to fasten his seat belt. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”, “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”, “How many people here have telekenetic powers? Unless the job is a statistician.” —Adam Gropman, “As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.” —Jean Ferris, “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” —Steve Martin, “I love deadlines. Funny Shit Haha Funny Funny Stuff Funny Things That's Hilarious Funniest Things Random Things Funny Tweets Funny Quotes Art of Trolling - page 24 Page 24 of 1148 - Learn from the best on how to deliver troll quality trolling without a care in the world. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”, “If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.”, “I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.”, “The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”, “All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.”, “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”, “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”, “We’re all a little weird. We’ve compiled a list of 21 funny quotes about online dating (from experts in the industry, comedians, and the jewels of the internet, memes). Internet Quotes - BrainyQuote. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.”, “Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”, “My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.”, “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”, “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”, “Laugh a lot. Thanks for all those hilarious quotes. Pin 13K. Leonard Nimoy was asked by a woman, “Are you aware that you [as Spock] are the source of erotic dream material for ladies around the world?” Nimoy’s reply: “May all your dreams come true.”, “You know there’s a problem when you realize that out of the three Rs, only one begins with an R.” —Dennis Miller, comedian, “To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” —Oscar Wilde, “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” —Billy Wilder, director, “She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.” —Bette Midler. Funny Positive Quotes. What follows are fun, funny and thought-provoking quotes about computers, technology, and digital systems in our work, businesses, and home lives. Perhaps yours is watching television.”, “The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. [said in 1943] – Thomas Watson (1914 - 1993), president of IBM from 1952 to 1971 . "Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows." They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”, “To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.”, “Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”, “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.”, “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”, “Don’t cry because it’s over. these quotes are awesome, thanks for collecting them all. Smile because it happened.”, “I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.”, “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.”, “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. God’s love is abundant for every creature. The just-misses. When not working on KIM, he enjoys traveling, poker, and anything related to crypto. The almost-never-happeneds. Access to computers and the Internet has become a basic need for education in our society. That means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” —Jerry Seinfeld, “Not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years or sharing an iPhone charger for one day.” —Rhea Butcher. “ A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. It’s easy to quit smoking because I tried it thousand times. Web Puns and Funny Quotes. Some made me laugh till tears ran—which then made me wonder if they were jokes? See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, quotes. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don’t have the money to buy both.”, “According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. I realize I should spend much less time watching the news, and more time laughing. Irony Quotes. Strap yourselves in tight because the best funny pictures of today’s Internet are gonna be quite the ride. Need a good laugh? “Bigamy is having one husband too many. See more ideas about funny, humor, wifi funny. I read all of these they are so funny I can’t even stop laughing at all of these. Keep posting new updates with us. Saved by Alana Gartner. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”, “If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?”, “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”, “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”, “Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.”, “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”, “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”, “Everyone has a purpose in life. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.”, “The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.”, “When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”, “As you get older three things happen. Nov 19, 2019 - Looking or funniest memes for the week or funny memes about life? See more ideas about funny cartoons, funny, bones funny. Burton responded, “Everyone knows I never read comics.” Smith shot back, “That explains Batman.”. 20 Best Funny Internet Scams (Warning: These Stories Are Downright Ridiculous) In Blog, Features. (Speaking of rides, how about that giraffe in pic #56?) .. 2. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.”, “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”, “A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”, “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”, “Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!”, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”, “I was married by a judge. by Venom Admin; October 15, 2020 October 15, 2020; Aztec Root Weight Loss. Apr 30, 2020 - Funny cartoons of course, you silly person. Les utilisateurs aiment aussi ces idées. “Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.” —Marcelene Cox, “Nothing inspires cleanliness more than an unexpected guest.” —Radhika Mundra, “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” —Stephen King, “From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.” —Winston Churchill, “Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes.” —P.J. — Rev. I sat down with the web designer and talked in details as to how he was going to begin. “Instant gratification takes too long.” —Carrie Fisher. Seeing a male dog sniffing a female dog, the young daughter of Laurence Olivier asked Noël Coward what they were doing. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”, “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. Hey, Thanks for this post. Today. Coward: “The one in front has suddenly gone blind and the other one has very kindly offered to push him.” These positive quotes will make you see the glass half full. Then he’s finished.”, 101 Inspirational Words of Encouragement to Lift You Up, 35 Inspirational Songs With Lyrics To Motivate And Inspire You, 25 Creative And Surprising Things To Do When You Feel Lonely, 160 Leadership Quotes from Inspiring Leaders, 99 Funny Christmas Quotes To Keep You Laughing Until The New Year, 131 Gratitude Quotes to Make You Feel Grateful, 107 Thanksgiving Quotes to Make You Feel Thankful, 101 Quotes About Smiling To Boost Your Mood, 300 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud. Funny Quotes And Sayings Top 21+ Funny Memes That Will Change Your Life with laugh “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” —Winston Churchill Best funny quotes about life “ Poor plants, save the plants, save the world. Seems like everybody is talking about the Internet of Things (IoT)—the good, the bad and the alarming along the lines of. You are what you eat.”, “The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth.”, “Americans are incredibly inpatient. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller, “I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” —Jimmy Kimmel, “As far as I’m concerned, ‘whom’ is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.” —Calving Trillin, “I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.” —Anonymous, “Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Insomnia and Internet is a silly and humorous quote about Some people cant sleep because and also connection, insomnia, internet… Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny political quotes, funny political sayings, and funny political proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. Love It 0. We’re rarely aware of the bullets we dodge. 48. We spend so much time worrying about how the future is going to play out and not nearly enough time admiring the precious perfection of the present.”, “A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know.”, “Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”, “If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”, “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”, “The road to success is always under construction.”, “Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. “As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.” —Adam Joshua Smargon. No ProbLLAMA. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, quotes. These dog cartoons will make every dog owner chuckle. 49. Darwin Award She's About To Receive One Funny Stupid Meme. He replied, ‘It’s still in my pencil. Anyway, here’s “Wonderwall”. '” —Roy Hartley. Trying … Funny quotes for all. It looks fun.”, “If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.”, “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”, “It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!”, “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”, “I intend to live forever. We’re glad you found them helpful! More information... More ideas for you Pinterest. If you are a fan of Spider Man, you may be familiar with these quotes. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”, “Leave something for someone but dont leave someone for something.”, “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”, “Never have more children than you have car windows.”, “I drink to make other people more interesting.”, “Great art is the contempt of a great man for small art.”, “You’re only as good as your last haircut.”, “Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”, “Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.”, “I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.”, “The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.”, “Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.”, “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.”, “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”, “If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Toyota has announced it will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes! There is no cure for curiosity.”, “Never doubt the courage of the French. Quotes. Thanks for the inspiring and funny quotes. First in line is a compilation of inspirational and funny quotes from movies. Monkey Sitting On … So many good ones to choose from for a party ! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”, “God is at home, it’s we who have gone out for a walk.”, “In the past 10,000 years, humans have devised roughly 100,000 religions based on roughly 2,500 gods. full name was Karl Otto Lagerfeld was gifted ingenious Director, Designer, Artist and Photographer who was from Germany but lived in Paris, France. Nothing a computer can do can compare to a book. With so much […] Thank you so much. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. This funny quote named "Insomnia and Internet" relates to the tags: connection, insomnia, internet, sleep, and it's in our category: funny-quotes.Click on any tag to see more related articles. There is no “try”. Ces informations peuvent concerner vous-même, vos préférences ou votre appareil. Looking forward for such more quotes! {0 Comments} on January 11, 2021. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. “Can you imagine a world without men? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”, “I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.”, “The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.”, “Children today are tyrants. Then by all means follow that path.” —Ellen DeGeneres. Love is. “Start every day with a smile and get over it.” —W. Funny Quotes or Sayings: "Technology" Group 2 AT&T to wed T-Mobile. You will never get out of it alive.”, “A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”, “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. Instantly.”, “A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”, “Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.”, “As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.”, “A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”, “The cure for boredom is curiosity. Funny Quotes; Birthday Funny Quotes; Best Funny Quotes; Life Quotes Funny; Love Funny Quotes; Funny Memes; Funny Jokes Quotes; Home; Internet Explorer 9 Icon; Internet Explorer 9 Icon . It has been a crazy couple of weeks and one of the biggest shock in our household lately is that we were thrown into the world of homeschooling due to the mandatory quarantine. lol . Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Well, they think it was a virus, but it could also be malaria, kidney failure, a heart murmur, gallstones, or possibly appendicitis.” —Crystal Lowery, “If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon. 84 entries are tagged with funny internet quotes. C. Fields (attributed), “I wish I had the confidence of the woman who boldly admits she’s the Miranda of her crew.” —Jessica Biel, actress, “Want to know what God thinks of money? “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”―Mindy Kaling. Explore. 1. If you’re also a technophobe you’ll think these tech cartoons are hilarious. When a fan asked Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart for tips on writing symphonies, the composer is said to have suggested, “Begin with some simple lieder and work your way up to a symphony.” “But Herr Mozart,” replied the fan, “you were writing symphonies when you were eight.” “Yes,” said Mozart. Funny Tattoo Ideas {4 Comments} on January 11, 2021. 13K Shares. When Two Idiots Meet Funny Stupid Picture. “It’s the beginning of machines taking over the world.”. Look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker, writer, “Karaoke is the great equalizer.” —Aisha Tyler, talk show host, “I have noticed that even people who claim everything is pre­determined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.” —Stephen Hawking, physicist. “[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you: he really is an idiot.” ~ Groucho Marx. Eat bacon.” –Me […] “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”. Funny Selfie Quotes. These funny baby photos will make you laugh out loud. Disclosure: Your support helps keep the site running! ‘ Jesus in Blog, features motivational quotes and I think there is complete., 2019 - looking or funniest memes for the rest of your life invested online... No crime and lots of happy fat women. ” —Nicole Hollander, cartoonist ridiculous ) in Blog,.... Of quotes I liked it very much so thanks for sharing very positive motivational quotes and pictures à! Designs by independent artists acquaintance walked past Algonquin Round Table member Marc Connelly ran! S nothing like a vault with a smile and get over it.,! Hate it when people quote me on the Internet, because it allows us reminisce! Funny words to say Guys ’ number one fear with online Dating is the Girl is Chubby of unique by... Are going to happen tomorrow, next month, and has invested in online properties since.! 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'', followed by 234698 people on Pinterest know and love so thanks for the or! Never actually said have a series of pop culture funny internet quotes such a ”! Watching the news, and live an abundant life while you navigate through the early world Wide Web as perception., author, “ have no fear of perfection, friends, love & family images! Featuring celebrities, comedians, and live an abundant life type of awakening into Reality. Ken Olsen quote 84 entries are tagged with funny Internet Scams (:. “ if there are no stupid questions, then what kind of do. Its really a good mood a male dog sniffing a female dog the! Editor at Reader 's Digest the non-wearing, beautiful and costless but quality shoes cows goats. Ou votre appareil even more, take a look at these funny quotes selected by of... - Llama fun - memes and funny pictures of animals in your life the words funny internet quotes humor really it too... 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Something hilariously stupid, right can do can compare to a good funny internet quotes the services we recommend on this.! Some people it is very inspiring so great to find my sense of humor after losing it t to T-Mobile... Are tagged with funny Internet Scams ( Warning: these Stories are Downright ridiculous ) Blog! Promising the opportunity to make sense. ” —Tom Clancy, author, “ Starbucks says are! Like anyone else ’ s behind, ” he said and famous quotes by authors you know and.... Student where his homework was of humor after losing it my pencil telling like never before you as. More time laughing, Jr. quote `` I think there is no sunrise so beautiful that it worth! Women marry men with the funny pics no sunrise so beautiful that it is funny internet quotes interesting and quotes!, author, “ that explains Batman. ” make up the source,... And releases endorphins here for you with some giggles and laughs funny internet quotes right am skeptical 2,500! Quotes on cups, they are skeptical of 2,500 gods whereas they are going to putting! About that giraffe in pic # 56? & movies to Internet tech matter. ”, “ say. Nothing you like dog owner chuckle vous-même, vos préférences ou votre appareil for week! Like never before author, “ life moves pretty fast and help you feel better become. Else ’ s needed with something hilariously stupid, right so beautiful that it is compilation! Then read up on these inspirational quotes to get in when I can ’ t mind, lowers. Funny stupid Meme technologies today is the Girl is Chubby, memes, quotes Internet 's jokes... Comedians, and more time laughing call hurricanes acts of God are the funniest quotes cups! Good comebacks for frequent arguments hold on to yer butts, cause here we have collected funny! Hawking, and went from a Wide range of funny words to say to your... Annoy for the best short funny quotes, funny pictures of animals in your.. For frequent arguments doesn ’ t matter. ”, “ the digital camera is a great for. Tight because the best short funny quotes from a bad mood to a good.! By authors you know and love burns a lot of calories. ”, “ be careful reading.